


Corn Syrup Sweet

by mrhearse



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crossdressing, Drag, Explicit Sexual Content, Halloween, M/M, coming to terms with your sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25746526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrhearse/pseuds/mrhearse
Summary: It's Halloween, everyone's a little out of character; Frank doesn't go all out on a costume, but Gerard does. It makes Frank feel some type of way.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 6
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my wip folder for close to a year now and I finally got around to finish it. Decided to split it up into two parts, hope u like <3

Frank was pushing through the mass of bodies crowded in the living room, trying to make his way in the direction of more beer.

He'd been talking to Pete and Ray about fake-looking movie blood, but then The Smiths had come on the speakers and Pete had abandoned the conversation in favour of drunkenly busting dance moves that in no way matched the music. He'd grabbed the arm of a girl wearing a hat shaped like a fish and tried to dance with her, but ended up knocking her drink out of her hand so it spilled all over her shirt and the floor. And in true Pete-style, he'd then slipped in the mess, gone sprawling to the ground, and the girl had left cursing to go clean herself up. Knowing Pete, Frank knew he'd de back up trying to hit on her again in about ten minutes. It might even work, because Pete had this _thing_ ; Frank had no idea _what_ exactly it was, but he had a way of making being pathetic work in his favour. Ray had been profoundly entertained by just watching the whole thing go down, and Frank took this as his queue to go replace his empty beer can. Any point he had been about to make about corn syrup and food colouring was long forgotten about anyway.

The kitchen was somehow even worse lit than the living room, despite the lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, giving off a faint, red glow. Frank squinted at the blindingly bright light inside the fridge as he tried to locate his beer, ignoring the couple making out against the counter next to him. He was starting to get a good buzz going, and the crowd out in the other room was pretty chill, if you counted out Pete. Frank was in a good mood. He didn't even feel that old, even though everyone kept telling him that he was practiacally ancient now.

As he walked back into the hallway, he spotted a pair of unmistakable glasses and messy brown hair by the front door, and his mood improved even further. He made a run for it and tackled Mikey in a tight hug before he had even gotten his left arm out of his jacket.

“Frankenstein!” Mikey laughed as Frank clung to his back, and Frank tried to tell him, “No, I'm _Mothman,_ stupid,” but Mikey just laughed and tried to body slam him into the wall. Frank shrieked and reluctantly let go of him, to save his beer and his ribs. “How's the birthday boy?” Mikey asked as Frank, from a respectful distance, inspected his costume. He had painted his face and arms green and wore a tight t-shirt full of holes.

“You're so basic, Mikeway, I can't believe you went for zombie again,” Frank tutted lovingly at him and took a sip of his beer. Mikey just stuck his hands in his pockets in that way that told Frank he accepted the compliment.

“And I'm good,” Frank said, “Party's good. I've got unlimited beer on Toro's tab _and_ I got to see Pete make a fool of himself already.”

Mikey smiled and shook his head as he hung his scarf up on the wall. “Oh man, I'm gonna crust Gerard's ass for taking so long to get ready. Seeing Pete do stupid shit is my favourite thing about these parties.”

“Dude, don't even worry about it,” Frank laughed, “He's on his like fourth tequila shot already and he's not even slowing down. There will be plenty of stupid shit to witness.” He looked around for Mikey's older, evil twin, but he couldn't spot his dark hair and hunched shoulders anywhere.

“Speaking of, where is your brother?”

Mikey twisted his head to look around. “Uh, I don't know, he was here a minute ago,” he said as the two of them headed into the kitchen. “Maybe he's already hiding in the bathroom,” he suggested as Frank leaned against the table. Mikey cracked a beer, then held it out for Frank to clunk his own beer against it.

“Happy birthday, dude. What've you been up to today?”

Frank rolled his eyes and smiled. “I had lunch with my _mom_ earlier. She _demanded_ to see. Which, you know, she ought to wait until next year to make a big deal out of it. At least then she can legally buy me a beer or something. You know?” Mikey didn't say anything, just half smiled and looked steadily at him while taking a sip of his beer. His glasses reflected the weak red light from the lightbulb in the ceiling, so Frank couldn't really see his eyes, but his slumped stance seemed relaxed and Frank took the fact that he showed up as a sign he was in a good mood. He was doing his silent but knowing thing again, and Frank was okay with that. Maybe he'd loosen up a bit after a beer or two.

“But I did have some seriously good hummus, so I forgive her,” Frank continued, “I can never afford to go to that fancy new vegan place on my own, anyway.” Mikey just nodded.

Frank pushed himself off the kitchen table and headed towards the door.

“Come on, I wanna dance.”

Back in the living room, Frank got suddenly caught up in the guitars of Master of Puppets blaring from the speakers as he walked past them. That was one of the best things about having parties at Toro's place, because that meant that by default Ray was the king of the stereo, and he had awesome taste. Frank saw Mikey drop onto the couch to put his arm around Ray's shoulder, who hadn't yet noticed he was there, and it resulted in a lot of flailing arms and excited yelling. Frank grinned. This was a really good birthday. Maybe the party wasn't _technically_ for him, but it was totally for him. As an unwritten rule all Halloween parties were for him, that's just the way it was. Ray would agree.

All of a sudden a tall figure came into his field of vision, and it took him a couple seconds to shake himself out of his thoughts and focus enough to realise who it was.

“Hey,” Gerard smiled and leaned in so Frank would hear him over the music. That made Frank even more aware of how weirdly tall he was. He blamed the darkness of the room and the beer in his system for having to blink a few times before he could manage to say anything. Gerard's eyes were huge and dark, he'd put some sort of makeup on them, and his lips were painted a colour Frank couldn't really make out in the dark. Frank had never seen him look like this before; he almost wouldn't have recognized him, had it not been for the fact that his face was two feet away from Frank's. It was definitely Gerard.

He was dressed in a white shirt and dark vest, with a red tie, and as Frank looked him over, his eyes landed on a red plaid skirt, and, explaining the added height, black high heeled boots. He really had the kind of punk-schoolgirl-look down, with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie hanging loosely from his unbuttoned collar. His vest was tight at the waist and the pleated skirt fell around his hips in a way that could almost be considered femme. Frank realised he was totally staring and forced his eyes away from where Gerard's skirt ended and his pale thighs began, and back up to his face.

“Wow,” was all he got out, and immediately internally slapped himself for not coming up with anything better to say. _Seriously, what the fuck, Frank._ But like, it was his honest emotion at that moment. Gerard smiled uncertainly at him, and Frank said,

“You brushed your hair.”

Gerard blinked and nodded solemnly. “Yeah.”

“I didn't recognize you,” Frank said, and Gerard laughed. The beer was starting to make him feel a little light headed, in that good way, and Gerard's laugh was really infectious. Frank giggled.

“Uh,” Gerard said, “Happy birthday.” Frank noticed something about Gerard's stance was different, he held his shoulders differently, a little more upright than usual. “Thanks,” Frank said. He tried to make out what colour Gerard's lipstick was, but it was impossible to tell in the dark. Possibly brown, maybe even black. It wouldn't surprise Frank; Gerard was kind of into the goth scene.

“I, uh. I got you something,” Gerard said, and Frank realised he'd been holding one arm behind his back. He held out something thin and floppy, and Frank accepted what, after a brief inspection, appeared to be the newest issue of Batman.

Frank looked up at Gerard. “Aren't you supposed to _wrap_ birthday presents? So it's a surprise?” Gerard just smiled smugly at him. “Open it, you idiot.”

Frank flipped through the first few pages, and discovered a piece of paper tucked inside. He squinted his eyes to make out the writing in the darkness, and then he let out a slight gasp. _“What?_ No way!”

He looked back up at Gerard, who was smiling expectantly, then back down at the ticket. “ _Pumpkins? For real?_ ” Gerard nodded.

“Mikes and Toro butted in too. We're all going. It was Mikey's idea.”

Frank beamed and looked up into Gerard's lined eyes. “You guys are the fucking _best!”_ he exclaimed and threw his arms around Gerard's neck. It was weird and unfamiliar how high he had to reach, because of Gerard's heels. Gerard stumbled a little but accepted the hug and Frank felt his arms come up to wrap around him. Through his hoodie Frank could feel how Gerard's hands were warm and sure where they rested low on his back. He must have washed his hair, because it was soft against Frank's cheek, and he smelled clean; Frank thought he picked up something that could be perfume, musty and deep and a little sweet. It made his head spin.

When Frank was back to standing on his heels again, he signalled for Gerard that he was heading for the hall. “Gotta put this somewhere so I don't lose it,” he explained, and shouldered his way past the group of people blocking the doorway. He went into the kitchen, and as the music from the living room got a little more muted, he heard the sound of heels clacking behind him. As he put the comic with the ticket tucked inside on Ray's spice cabinet, he looked over and saw Gerard peering into the fridge.

By the fridge light Frank could now see the front of Gerard's unbelievably pale thighs illuminated; he was wearing fishnets that could barely even count as tights; the netting was so wide it did absolutely nothing to cover up any amount of skin, and didn't look particularly warm, either. Frank wondered if he and Mikey had walked here. It was pretty cold out. His legs looked muscular, in a different way than Frank had seen on him before, longer and more delicate.

He wondered how hard it was to walk in those heels. If Gerard had practised.

Maybe he'd worn the skirt before too. And the makeup.

The kitchen returned to its dull red glow as Gerard closed the fridge and popped his can. Gerard leaned against the counter and drank his beer in silence, his eyes half hidden behind his dark hair. He crossed his ankles and his hip jutted out to one side.

Frank tried his best to be very interested in the empty back street outside the kitchen window, but he felt his eyes wandering back to Gerard; his exposed thighs, his lipstick.

“How do you _walk_ in those things?” Frank tried to sound as casual as possible and tipped his beer towards Gerard's feet. They were friends after all. They had hung out together lots of times before. Even just the two of them. This didn't have to be weird if Frank could just _not make it_ weird. Gerard uncrossed his ankles and lifted one foot a little bit at Frank's question.

“It's kind of hard, actually. I really underestimated the skill required to keep your balance. I have mad respect for women, officially. I mean, even more than before.”

Frank laughed a little. “I'm impressed,” he said and nodded approvingly. He could do this. It was still the same Gerard that he had beaten in Mario Kart a couple of weeks ago when they'd gotten drunk in Gerard's basement, the same Gerard that he had skated with during the summer, when he almost broke his ankle. It was still Mikey's weird older brother that was way too much like Mikey to be normal. Frank could totally do this. He didn't even know why he was freaking himself out. It wasn't a big deal at all.

“You look good,” Frank heard himself say. It wasn't weird. It's not weird at all to tell your friends that their halloween costume looks cool. Except maybe that wasn't exactly what Frank was saying. Not really. Whatever. The beer was making him woozy.

Gerard kept his long hair covering half his face, and Frank became suddenly very aware of the stark contrast of his dark hair and makeup against his pale face. The light made it stand out in a film-noir kind of way, more pronounced and dramatic. Or like Suspiria. Gerard would probably love that, Frank thought. Maybe if Frank had been an artist like Gerard, he'd want to paint the way Gerard looked right now. Maybe he should take a photo and give it to him.

“Thanks,” Gerard said. “You don't think it's too much?”

Gerard eyed him. Frank felt like his skin was on fire all over whenever Gerard looked at him. Like he could read his mind and knew what he was thinking.

“No, uh. It suits you,” Frank said. Gerard blinked slowly and gave Frank a little shy smile. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “How's your birthday going?” he asked.

Frank was glad to change the subject. The chances of him making a fool of himself would hopefully decrease if he could talk about something else than how Gerard looked right now. Thinking about it made his brain short circuit.

“It's good!” Frank nodded and looked into his beer can. It was feeling suspiciously light. He didn't remember drinking it that quickly. “Really good,” he said,

“Awesome, really.”

He looked up to find Gerard still looking steadily at him from behind his hair. It was too dark to really make out his expression, but Frank thought he was smiling a little bit. Frank thought of the concert tickets again. He felt really, _really_ lucky to have such cool friends. “Man, I can't believe you got tickets for the Pumpkins! You guys are _awesome._ Thank you, seriously,” he beamed.

He thought about how Gerard's hands had felt on his back when he'd hugged him.

“You're welcome,” Gerard smiled for real now, with all his weird little teeth showing. He had a really pretty smile. Frank really wanted to take a picture.

“I like your costume, too, by the way,” Gerard said.

Frank held out his arms to show off his wings that he'd hand sewn onto his sweater last night.

“Thanks, glad to see someone appreciates the hard work I put into it.” He even swung his arms a little bit to show Gerard how, in fact, awesome they were.

Gerard pressed his lips together like he was trying not to laugh. Frank considered going over there to punch that motherfucker on the arm. Gerard totally failed at concealing his laugh, though; he turned his head away to hide his face, but Frank saw the wrinkles at his eyes, not to mention the obvious bursts of air coming out of his nose. His eyelashes cast dark shadows over his cheeks. Frank thought he would let him get away with it, just this once. Just because he was feeling particularly benevolent tonight. He was feeling a little like the beer was turning his knees into jelly and making him lose control of his muscles; he tried to squint at Gerard, as a warning, but he felt himself smiling.

Gerard looked towards the door and shifted a litte. “I'm gonna go for a cigarette, you want one?” He looked back at Frank, his eyes still shining with humor. Frank nodded and they headed out through the hall, Gerard's heels clacking on the floor, and Gerard grabbed his jacket.

They shouldered their way through the crowd in the living room and Frank pushed open the door to the balcony.

Outside, Gerard leaned against the railing as he lit his cigarette and then handed his lighter over to Frank. He was wearing a long black coat that Frank hadn't seen before, with black faux fur along the edge of the hood and down on each side of the zipper, and at the cuffs. It went well with the whole outfit. Frank took the lighter Gerard held out, lit his own cigarette, and put it in his pocket. He would give it back the next time they came out for a smoke.

Gerard didn't seem to mind, anyway, he just leaned back and asked, “Did you hear the new Immortal album?”, back in his usual easygoing tone. Frank hadn't even realised he'd been talking more softly inside the kitchen. Or maybe it was the music inside that had muffled his voice. It carried better out here in the crisp night air.

Gerard shook his hair away from his face and blew smoke out of the side of his mouth. In the yellowy porchlight Frank could see his makeup better; his eyes were dark and smokey, purple and reddish, almost like a fresh bruise, but he'd made it look elegant, and he was wearing a deep red colour on his lips, alomost like blood, or rust or something. His eyelashes were really long. He looked really good.

It was pretty cold outside. Frank hadn't even put on his jacket. He ignored the urge to shiver; just shook his head and took a drag of his cigarette.

“No, I didn't,” he said, in response to Gerard's question. He wasn't really that into metal like Gerard and Ray were. He wasn't sure he knew exactly who Gerard was talking about. From the way Gerard's eyes sparkled, though, he expected to get some sort of rant any minute now. _“Really?”_ Gerard said, disbelieving. Frank just smiled around his cigarette and shook his head at him. “Oh my _god,_ dude, you _need_ to listen to it. It's so _good.”_

He sort of looked like he had mentally gone into another room for a bit, where there was nothing else than crunchy distorted guitars and double bassdrums; he was looking up into the sky above Frank's head, where a few faint stars were just starting to come out. Frank resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and just smiled and nodded. Gerard had a hard time realising people liked other things than he did sometimes. It was one of the things that made him kind of endearing, though, in Frank's eyes.

“It's like.. so _big._ You know? Really intense. Super dark.”

Frank let Gerard ramble on trying to explain to him how this album sounded and how it _felt,_ even though he really didn't get much of what he was talking about. He was waving his hand with the cigarette around a lot and alternating between staring intensely into nothing and fixing Frank with excited, wide open eyes, like it would get the severity of his point across telepathically or something. Frank nodded and hummed affirmatively here and there, smoked his cigarette and downed the rest of his beer while Gerard talked. He assured him he would listen to the album when he got the chance. He _would_ actually try to get through the first song, at least. Those metal songs Gerard liked were _really long_ sometimes, though. But he didn't tell Gerard that.

“Hey, Gee,” Frank said before he could change his mind. “Do you mind if I take a picture of you?”

Gerard looked a little surprised, probably at the abrupt change of topic. “You just look really cool in this light. With the outfit and the cigarette and everything,” Frank explained. He noticed the top of Gerard's cheekbones turning a little pink as he ducked his head. He tried to hide the little smile that crept onto his face, but Frank saw that too.

“Uh, sure!” Gerard said, and looked expectantly at Frank, who fished his phone out of his pocket.

“Should I do anything? How do you..” Frank waved him off. “No, no, you're fine. Just keep doing what you're doing.” Frank put his empty beer down on the ground by his feet and stubbed his cigarette butt out in the ashtray on the windowsill. He looked at the little Gerard on the screen and snapped a picture. “Oh, wait-” he reached out and grabbed Gerard's beer out of his hand. “Yeah, there we go. Now you look real classy.”

Gerard shook his head so his bangs fell partly over his eyes again and took a drag of his cigarette. He slumped his shoulders a little and slacked his jaw, and yeah. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing. He knew he looked really good. Frank snapped a few more photos of him as he looked into the camera with heavy lidded eyes and blew the smoke out from the side of his mouth, in that totally stupid way that made Frank's stomach flip in a not totally unpleasant way.

Gerard threw his finished butt into the night and moved closer to Frank. “Lemme see.” The cigarette smell clung to him and drowned out all the unfamiliar smells Frank had picked up earlier. Gerard took his beer back and Frank held out his phone so Gerard could see while he went through the pictures, stopping at some and examining his work. “You look totally hot in these, dude,” Frank said easily. He didn't look over to catch Gerard's reaction, he kept his eyes on the small screen and zoomed in a little to get a streetlight out of the frame. “Yeah, there. That's awesome. That lighting from the window looks so sick.” It really did look cool. Some dark trees made up the background behind Gerard, and a white cloud coming from his mouth obscured some of his face. “Yeah,” Gerard breathed next to him. His hair brushed the side of Frank's face.

Frank shivered, it was getting seriously miserable out here without a jacket. “Fuck, it's cold,” he said and quickly tucked his phone back into this pocket without asking if Gerard was done looking. “Let's go inside.”

Frank immediately headed for the kitchen to hack into another beer. His hands and feet were freezing and he bounced a little up and down to get his blood flowing again. He suddenly remembered he'd had a mission earlier that had been so rudely interrupted by Gerard. When he reentered the living room with beer in hand, Gerard was sitting down next to Mikey on the couch, and Frank yelled at him over the music.

“Gerard! Come dance with me!” Gerard looked confused, and Frank wiggled his arms so his wings flapped around. It made him spill beer on himself, and Gerard laughed at him. The song changed and Frank internally thanked Ray again for being the absolute Best. Frank knew Gerard loved the Ramones. He beckoned for Gerard to get up, Gerard smiled uncertainly and set his beer down on the coffee table before pushing up off the couch.

He wormed his way between the bodies separating him and Frank, and stumbled a little as he stepped into Frank's space in the semi open part of the living room that currently served as dance floor. Frank just grinned and moved to the music, enjoying the feeling returning to his limbs. Gerard bobbed his head so his long hair flopped around, but his movements were kind of stiff, like he didn't want to commit too much to the dancing, or like he maybe just didn't know what to do with his limbs. When Frank started playing air guitar as well as he could with a beer in one hand, and thrashed around like he wanted to start a moshpit in the middle of the floor, Gerard honked out a genuine, loud belly-laugh, and when Frank looked up at him he was mouthing along to Pet Sematary and holding an invisible microphone to his face. Frank grinned and leaned in to sing along into the mic; he could tell Gerard was relaxing more. It was really intense being so close to this version of Gerard, he was so soft and pretty, but there was an edge to him that Frank couldn't pinpoint exactly, some sort of fizzy energy radiating off of him that made Frank's insides twist strangely around in his gut. He felt exposed in the middle of the crowd, almost embarrassed, like everyone was watching him, but at the same time all of that faded into the bacground when he zoned in on Gerard's dark lips moving, Gerard's made up eyes blinking with those ridiculous long eyelashes and once in a while fixing him with that steady look that made Frank feel like he was burning up from the inside.

Frank really wanted to get his hands on him. It all came crashing down on him at once. Gerard's shirt was glowing blue under the UV lights that Ray had fixed above the stereo, and the longer they were throwing themselves around on the floor, the more dishevelled Gerard looked; his hair was getting messed up and he was starting to sweat a little, and his tie was slowly creeping out from his vest. Every time he looked at him, Frank felt like he might faint; Gerard's eyes were so big and his mouth was so _close._ Gerard noticed his tie escaping and tucked it back in, but tugged at the knot to loosen it up more, and Frank could see his pale throat peek out from under his unbuttoned collar.

Frank had to give up solo moshing and just closed his eyes and leaned his head against Gerard's chest, trying to catch his breath, and grabbed onto his arm with his free hand to keep his balance. Gerard stilled and put his hands gently on Frank's shoulders. “You okay?” he half yelled over the music. Frank huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, just. Gotta sit down for a bit.”

He dragged Gerard back to the couch and waved at Ray and a girl from Frank's chem class to move over and make some space. He plopped down at the edge of the couch, pulling Gerard down with him, and it was a bit of a tight sqeeze, but Frank didn't mind. His thigh and arm was pressed up against Gerard's and his head was spinning. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk so fast. Gerard was looking at him with a concerned face. “Totally outta breath,” Frank explained. “Gotta stop smoking.”

Gerard nodded and leaned forward to grab his beer that he'd left on the table. Frank tried to make his heart stop beating so damn hard. On the other side of the table, Gerard and Ray's high school classmate Shaun, dressed in a long white lab coat and diving goggles, was getting up on a chair, and Pete was clinging to his legs and wailing something incoherent. Frank caught Mikey's eyes and they exchanged a couple confused thumbs up and facial expressions, and Frank laughed, but he was glad the music drowned out most of it, because he felt it come out nervous and choppy.

He tried to look anywhere but over at Gerard, who was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees; his shirt was stretched tight around his shoulders, and from this angle he could almost look completely normal, just regular Gerard dressed in a shirt and vest like he would for prom or something, if Frank could just not look at his bare knees and fucking _skirt._

Shaun was batting Petes hands away from undoing the buttons on his lab coat and trying to tell him he “wasn't that kind of girl”, and Frank saw Mikey clutch at his stomach and shake with laughter as he did absolutely nothing to help the poor guy out. Seeing Mikey laugh was making this whole day worth enduring, even his mom pinching his cheek and talking about college in the same fucking sentence _on his_ _birthday._ He hadn't seen Mikey laugh that hard in ages. It made him feel like things were going to be okay. Even more than okay.

“Hey,” Gerard said as he leaned back next to Frank, “Would you send me those pictures?” He leaned in to make sure Frank could hear him over all the noise. Some of his hair was sticking a bit to his sweaty forhead and his eyeshadow was smudged a little bit in the corner of his eyes. Frank almost couldn't handle Gerard looking directly at him, much less breahing hot into his ear; now he was definitely exposed, everyone around the table had a prime view of him totally making eyes at Gerard.

“Uh, yeah, of – of course,” he stuttered out, and fished his phone out of his pocket. When he unlocked it, tiny Gerard was staring intently up at him from the screen.

Some high pitched screeching and commotion erupted somewhere to his right as Frank pressed send, and he looked up to see Pete throwing himself onto the couch, spilling at least three people's beers and causing several costumed party-goers to scatter in a desperate attempt to avoid his grabby hands that were out to get anyone who was close enough. Frank felt like maybe the couch wasn't safe anymore.

He got to his feet without a word and snuck quickly past a group of scantily clad Frankenstein girls that were watching the events on the couch pan out. He heard Gerard shout something to Mikey across the table, and looked back just in time to catch Pete grabbing Mikey's head with both hands and giving him a solid kiss right on the mouth. The room erupted in a bit of scattered applause and a few celebratory shouts, and Frank had to laugh at Mikey's horrified face, just staring at a grinning Pete with wide open eyes. Frank spotted Gerard, who had also vacated the couch, and was standing against the wall laughing, and turning his head to say something to Ray. Frank quickly ducked his head and ran for the hall, and thanked every god he could think of that the bathroom door was ajar. He beelined for the door, locked it behind him, and sat down on the closed toilet lid, feeling his head spin.

This was all very confusing.

He sat and just breathed for a while. He'd never thought about Gerard like this before. Then again, Gerard had never dressed like that before.

Not that he knew of, at least. Sure, he was really pretty, Frank had always thought so, but he'd never thought he was really into guys, and he had always been perfectly fine with just hanging out and listening to Gerard talk about comic books for hours on end. They had known each other for a long time; his friendship with Mikey pretty much included friendship with Gerard as well, since they hung out together all the time.

Gerard had never mentioned being into drag. Liking Rocky Horror didn't mean anything. Or so Frank had thought. It had never made _him_ want to dress up in a corset and high heels. Maybe Gerard had just been too embarrassed to tell anyone. Maybe he didn't think it was worth mentioning, that it wasn't that big of a deal.

Frank thought it was a pretty big deal. Gerard was _hot._ His smooth, pale thighs, the way he carried himself, his lipstick, his _perfume._

He got up and went to turn on the faucet. He put his mouth under the cold spray and gulped some water down, splashed some on his face as well before he grabbed the edge of the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He felt kind of like he didn't know up from down anymore. He _really_ wanted to kiss Gerard. But it might be kind of a dick move to try to get all up in his business just because he was dressed like a girl. Gerard was like. Sensitive. He might take offense that Frank didn't _see past his skirt_ , or something.

Frank didn't want him to be a girl, though, he didn't think. That was the most confusing part. He had to be drunker than he thought. He wasn't feeling sick or dizzy or anything, though, just weird and tingly all over, like all of his cells had turned into pop rocks.

He'd been friends with Gerard for almost two years. They had ditched last year's absolutely abysmal halloween party together and drunk the rest of their beers in the cemetery down by Our Lady's Hospital across the river. Gerard had told him about his DnD campaign he had going with Mikey and Shaun, all flailing arms and honking laugh, told him about his not-currently-so-successful career in learning how to play the guitar, about his slightly more successful career as a cartoonist at Nickelodeon. Frank had told him about the Fight he had with his mom and how much fun he had explaining to his professor why he was taking photographs of trash he saw in the street for his portfolio project and how it was _art._ And yet there had been this huge thing that Frank had no idea about, that Gerard had never mentioned.

He looked at his own huge eyes in the mirror and tried to breathe more or less evenly. He felt his pocket buzz. His heart beat really hard in his chest as he looked at his phone.

_hey wher did u go_

It was from Gerard. He bit his lip as he debated what he should say, or if he should reply at all. Ignoring him might be kind of shitty, though.

 _bathroom_ , he texted back.

 _r u alright?_ he got in return, almost immediately. He rolled his eyes, but smiled despite himself. Typical Gerard to be glued to his phone during a party. _yeah i'm ok_ , he typed and hit send. Barely thirty seconds later he heard a soft knock on the door.

“Frank? That you?” Gerard's squeaky, high pitched voice was muffled by the door.

Frank mentally shook himself and took a deep breath, then he cracked the door, laughing, “Can't a man even pee in peace on his birthday anymore?”

The thin stripe he could see of Gerard's oddly tall figure loomed over him through the crack in the door, looking like he was considering trying to push his head inside. He looked sheepishly down at Frank. “Sorry. I just– you ran off. I just thought I'd check on you in case you were sick or something.” He pressed even closer to the door.

Frank couldn't help but feel a little soft at that. Gerard was a really good friend, and that didn't change even when he kind of looked like a totally different person. Even if he knew he was the hottest person at the whole fucking party, and that looking after Frank would probably be the least fun way to spend his halloween _ever,_ he still cared to make sure Frank was okay.

“Thanks, Gee,” he said softly. He definitely didn't want Gerard to be anything else than what he was. He didn't want someone that looked like Gerard, he wanted _Gerard._ His soft eyes and stupid giggle and weird fucking habit of leaving his shit on literally every surface any time he came over to hang out at Frank's place. It didn't really matter that he was a guy, Frank realised. It didn't fucking matter at all, Frank still wanted to put his hands up his skirt.

He was kind of a huge fucking idiot for not realising it before. It was pretty obvious when he first thought about it.

Gerard looked at Frank through the thin crack in the door. Frank hadn't opened it wider, because he was kind of still trying to hide from him a little bit. “Can I come in?” Gerard asked. Frank opened the door.

Gerard stepped past him into the small bathroom, and pulled the door shut, locking it. “Uh,” Frank managed, but Gerard didn't look at him, he leaned over the sink and pulled something small out of the breast pocket on his vest. “Gotta fix my lipstick. Jesus, look at this. I look a mess,” he said to his reflection as he leaned in close to the mirror and uncapped the lipstick. Frank looked at how he opened his mouth and applied the lipstick with sure, practised strokes. He had definitely done this before.

His back was to Frank; Frank looked at his shoes, at the backs of his thighs, his ass under the skirt. Back up at his face. The Gerard in the mirror shifted his eyes so they met Frank's, and Frank startled; he forgot that if he could see Gerard, Gerard could see him as well. He really hoped he wasn't blushing. If Gerard had seen Frank blatantly ogling his ass, he didn't comment on it, he just looked back to his own face and finished putting on his lipstick, and put the tub back in his pocket. He pressed his lips together and turned his head this way and that, checking himself out. “The eyeliner looks cool, though, smudged like that,” he said. His reflection fixed Frank with a deliberate look. “Don't you think?”

Frank tried not to nod too fast. He realised he'd just been standing against the closed door staring at Gerard in silence the entire time. “Yeah. Like you're comin' straight from the pit,” he offered. He wasn't sure how long he would be able to pretend he didn't feel increasingly light headed the longer he was alone with Gerard in the small room. Gerard ran a hand through his hair, messed it up a bit, then he turned around and leaned his ass against the sink.

“You wanna go for a smoke?”

Fresh air was exactly what Frank needed. Or like, what he actually needed probably was a cold shower, but a trip into the icebox outside would suffice. “Oh, fuck yeah,” he nodded, and scrambled to unlock the door. They headed out to the balcony again, worming their way through the living room, and Frank grabbed Gerard's arm so he wouldn't lose him in the crowd. Not that he would get particularly lost, it wasn't like he didn't know where Frank was going, but whatever. Frank was getting tired of pretending he wouldn't take any dumb excuse to touch Gerard.

A group of goth girls with blood all over them came tumbling in from the balcony just as Frank was going to reach for the handle, and they stood pressed up against the wall to let them pass, then darted out and shut the door. The music from the stereo once again became a little muffled, but less so than before, Frank thought someone had turned it up. Gerard stuck his cigarette in his mouth and put both his hands as deep into his pockets as they would go, rummaging around and frowning deeply.

Frank took the opportunity to light Gerard's cigarette for him; it made him frown even deeper, then he realised Frank had his lighter and took his hands out of his pockets. He took a deep drag of his cig, blew all the smoke at Frank's face, and grabbed for the lighter. Frank managed to dodge his hand while also lighting up his own cigarette. He was pretty proud of the smooth manoeuver.

“I didn't realise you were such a clepto,” Gerard said in a fake-scolding tone. Frank slid Gerard's lighter into his back pocket again. “That's your own personal problem,” he grinned back at him. The cold air was definitely clearing Frank's head a bit, it felt natural to joke around with Gerard like this. Just like they'd done a million times. Gerard fought a smile but failed miserably, Frank laughed easily at him and leaned against the balcony railing.

“Oh my _god!”_ Gerard exclaimed suddenly, his eyes going wide. “Did I tell you about the doll I almost bought?”

Frank had absolutely no idea what the hell he was talking about, but if he was being honest, he wasn't really that surprised. He had given up being surprised every time Gerard bought some weird artefact over the internet a long time ago. His room was so full of weird shit that Frank thought, in his pseudo-professional-opinion, that it could pass for a strange and kind of strong-smelling art installation, if anyone asked. His latest treasure was a taxidermied bat in a glass case that he'd fought really hard over on some forum to get his hands on. Gerard loved that thing so much. He had it on his fucking nightstand.

Now that he had thought about it for a bit, Frank decided he could have kissed Gerard that time in the cemetery. Gerard was the same as he had been a year ago, only a little older. And his hair was a little longer. Frank would have probably been on board with it if Gerard had kissed him back then. Even without the makeup and the heels. Gerard kept talking about how he had lost the bidding round on this supposedly haunted doll on Ebay because he had fallen asleep “like a fucking _moron,”_ and Frank looked at his mouth, at the way it slanted to the side.

The Pumpkins concert was going to be really awkward if this was the wrong move. If this didn't go over well, Frank would never hear the end of it. Mikey was going to make fun of him for the rest of his _life._ And he might have to go into hiding for the next four years. He probably wouldn't be able to look anyone in the eye ever again.

He leaned in and kissed Gerard on the mouth.

It was quick and light, but generated some sort of surprised sound from Gerard, who was interrupted mid-sentence. Frank pulled away just as quickly as he'd leaned in, and Gerard blinked dumbly at him. Frank felt like they were just staring at each other for eons, Gerard wide-eyed and shocked and just blinking with his long stupid fucking eyelashes. He was so fucking pretty. The silence was excruciating.

“What are you lookin' at me like that for,” Frank demanded and took a drag of his smoke to act like he wasn't freaking the fuck out. Maybe if he punched Gerard in the jaw he could disorient him enough to get away if he made a run for it. Or he could pretend it never happened. Running away seemed like the best option though, that way he didn't have to look Gerard in the eye anymore.

Gerard's eyebrows suddenly drew together and something seemed to be happening inisde his head, his eyes moved down to Frank's lips as Frank exhaled the smoke away from Gerard. Then he stepped into Frank's space and put both of his hands on the sides of Frank's face, and held him still as he bent down and fitted their mouths together.

The pop rocks inside Frank's bones started going off like he'd been dropped on his ass into a can of coke. He brought his hands up to Gerard's shoulders; even pressed between Gerard and the railing he felt like he might fall over. He must have dropped his cigarette but he didn't give a shit, he just held onto Gerard with both hands to make sure he didn't go anywhere. He pushed his mouth firmer against Gerard's and heard a needy sound escape from his throat, but he didn't even care; Gerard's bangs were brushing his face and his hands were warm on his jaw and his lips were so _soft_ and he was breathing heavy and slow through his nose. Frank could smell his perfume again, Gerard was sucking on Frank's lower lip and tonguing at his piercing, and Frank felt a shiver rip through him like a lightning bolt.

That made Gerard pull away, and Frank felt like he might cry. Gerard moved his hands down to rest on Frank's shoulders, and held him at almost an arm's length. “You okay?” he said a little breathlessly and looked down at Frank, his mouth hanging slightly open. Seeing his face was kind of like a slap in the face but in a really awesome way; he was actually kissing Gerard, not just some random guy that smelled really good. His lipstick was smudged a little bit and Frank thought _oh man_ , and then he remembered Gerard had asked him a question and was still looking expectantly at him, waiting for him to answer.

“Yeah,” he nodded, brilliantly. “I mean. Yeah. Are you? Is this okay?” He didn't know where all those words came from all of a sudden, they came tumbling out before his brain could stop it. Gerard sort of snorted and looked at him like he had started growing a second head.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

Frank didn't know what to say to that, so he just nodded dumbly at him. Gerard nodded too, before he leaned in and put his lips on Frank's again. Frank got his arms around his waist and pulled him in, and it made Gerard melt into him; he slid his hands into Frank's hair and tilted his head and hummed into Frank's open mouth. Frank licked into Gerard's mouth and it was so incredibly hot, he could taste cigarettes and cheap beer and Gerard's lipstick, it tasted strange and a little waxy but he could really care less, because Gerard was biting on his lips and making these little noises in the back of his throat and it was cranking Frank's gears like nobody's business. Gerard had a fucking _wicked_ mouth.

Gerard was pressed against him all along his front, and then he shifted his leg a little and pressed even closer, and Frank thought he was actually going to die right then. There was no mistaking it, Gerard was hard. Frank could feel it against his hip, through his jeans and Gerard's fucking _skirt._ “Oh Jesus,” he gasped into Gerard's mouth, he fumbled his hands down over Gerard's ass, trying to find the edge of his skirt, and slid his hands over his thighs. He could feel the netting of his tights under his fingers and slid his hands further up when Gerard shrieked and grabbed his arm.

“Frank,” he panted, and when Frank looked confusedly up at him his face was beet red. He looked at Frank with a slightly horrified expression, but he was laughing, kind of breathless and choppy. “Dude, not here, everyone's like, _right there_ ,” he hissed, and Frank thought _oh, right_. He'd almost forgotten completely where he was.

He was feeling positively light headed and like he might fall off the fucking planet, Gerard's lipstick was completely ruined and smeared all around his mouth, and Frank couldn't help but laugh at him, even though he realised he probably looked the exact same way. “Gee, your face.” There was no way they could go inside and be at all inconspicuous, looking like that. They might as well make out on the floor in front of everyone. Gerard frowned at him. _“Your_ face,” he shot back defensively.

“Gerard,” Frank said seriously. “Are you saying I can touch your dick if we go somewhere that's not here?” He wasn't sure why he was feeling so brave all of a sudden. It had to be the adrenaline, or something. Gerard clutched at him and panted harshly. He looked straight into Frank's eyes as he nodded. “Yes.” Frank did his best to keep breathing.

“Okay, okay. Let me just-” He brought his hand up to wipe at Gerard's mouth with his sleeve to try to get some of the lipstick off. He thought he did a pretty good job. Gerard made an enquiring sound.

“I'm trying to make us less obvious, duh,” Frank said. “Hopefully it'll be too dark inside for anyone to be able to tell.”

Gerard raised his eyebrows. Frank just kept wiping clumsily at Gerard's cheek. “No offense, but I think I would rather not have Mikey knowing about what I'm planning on doing to you.”

Gerard choked a little at that, and Frank gave him a shit eating grin. He wiped quickly over his own mouth before spinning around and pulling open the balcony door.

As they squeezed through the living room, Gerard ducked his head down and Frank tried not to look anyone in the eye. They didn't run into anyone that tried to grab their arm and hit up a conversation, which Frank was very grateful for. Through the kitchen there was a door that Frank knew led to a bedroom, and he didn't give a shit which one of Ray's roommates it belonged to; he pushed open the door and found the room amzaingly unoccupied. He turned the lock, and then he went to latch his mouth back onto Gerard's.

Gerard grabbed him and they hobbeled blindly across the room until Gerard was pulling Frank down onto the bed with him, letting out a loud “oof” as Frank landed heavily on top of him. Being horizontal seemed to flip a switch in Gerard's head; his hands found their way under Frank's hoodie and his kissing got less gentle and increasingly frantic. Frank ground his hips down against Gerard and groaned, and Frank's own dick was really starting to make its prescence known, pressing against the inside of his jeans.

 _“Ah,_ Frank, so hot,” Gerard panted and pushed his hips up against Frank. Tiny fireworks exploded on the inside of Frank's eyelids. “Yeah, fuck,” Frank agreed, and nudged Gerard's legs apart with his knees, slid his hands over his thighs. He snaked his fingers up under Gerard's skirt and made a point to stick his tounge in Gerard's mouth as he palmed at his dick through his underwear. Gerard groaned, muffled by Frank's lips and sounding more like a hmmpf. He was wearing boxers, Frank noticed, and it was kind of unexpected, even though Frank didn't really know _what_ he had expected, but it still made his toes curl; it was evidence that the regular Gerard was under there, after all.

Frank really wanted to get more of the small, breathy sounds that were leaking out of Gerard's mouth, so he promptly stuck his hand inside Gerard's boxers and wrapped it around his dick. _“Oh_ shit,” Gerard gasped, and fumbled his own hands down between their bodies to return the favour. He worked clumsily on Frank's zipper while Frank started jacking him off. When he felt Gerard's hand on his cock he shivered and couldn't help but to buck into it, it felt so fucking good to have someone else's hands on him. _Gerard's_ hands. Not just anyone. 

“Yeah,” Frank breathed. He tore his lips away from Gerard's and started mouthing along his jaw and down his neck, it was too fucking much, Gerard was wearing a _skirt_ and Frank was working his hand over his dick with tight, quick strokes. It was surreal. He wanted to make Gerard come so bad.

The affair as a whole wasn't particularly graceful or romantic, they were both fully clothed, sweating and cursing and jacking each other off, but Frank could not give less of a shit. It was fucking incredible. He could tell Gerard was trying to be quiet, breathing in short bursts and humming enthusiastically at every one of Frank's touches. He licked at Gerard's throat, and he could feel his moan vibrating under his tongue. Frank grinned. He hoped the music in the living room was loud enough to cover it up. He also kind of wanted to see if he could push Gerard a little bit. It wasn't especially classy to hook up at a house party, in someone else's bed. But it felt kind of dangerous, and it was making Frank's blood boil. They could easily be found out. The longer they were in here the less safe they were. At least they had locked the door. It was Frank's birthday, though, after all. He had the right to take a few liberties.

He rubbed his thumb over the head of Gerard's cock, against the slit, and spread the wetness there around a little, and Gerard fucking trembled under him, gasping and cursing and tightening his grip compulsively on Frank's dick.

“Fuck, Gee,” Frank curled into him, and just the fact that he could smell that perfume again, and feel Gerard's fishnets under his fingers, had him so close already. “Yeah, Frankie, come on,” Gerard groaned and wrapped his free hand around the small of Frank's back where his hoodie was riding up. Gerard's voice sounded so fucked, rough and breathy and desperate. Frank was only one guy. He could only take so much. Gerard's long fingers had a fucking vice grip on his dick and he was going at it like it was a fucking competition to see who could make the other one come first.

Gerard won. He squeezed just below the head of Frank's dick, and Frank felt like he practically pulled it out of him by force. It hit him like a truck crashing into him at 80 miles an hour. He buried his face in Gerard's sweaty neck and just rode it out until he could remember what fucking planet he was on again.

When he started to come to, he realised Gerard was bucking his hips up into his loose fist, and he tighened his grip again, doing his best to keep a steady rhythm even though his brain had fried most of its synapses and all his bones had gone liquid. Gerard continued to move his hips, fucking up into Frank's fist, and Frank didn't complain. He clumsily lifted himself up on his free arm so he could see Gerard's face. Frank could tell he was close, he let out these low, increasingly high pitched moans and his fingers were digging hard into Frank's hip. Frank thumbed the head of his cock again. Gerard spasmed under him and choked out a grunt. His o-face was pretty ridiculous, but so fucking hot, his eyes were screwed tightly shut and his mouth was hanging open. His makeup had smudged to all hell and he looked totally wrecked as he came all over Frank's hand and the inside of his briefs.

Frank took his hand politely off Gerard's dick when he started hissing and twitching under him. Gerard cracked his eyes open and looked up at Frank with a totally blissful look on his face. Even with his makeup completely ruined, he looked fucking beautiful. All slack and relaxed and content. It was even better when Frank knew that he had made him look like that. Frank felt the exact same way.

“That was cool,” Gerard sighed and gave Frank a lazy smile. Frank nodded.

“Yeah. Shit.”

Now that the urgency had melted out of him, the impact of this whole entire evening started to really dawn on him. He bent down and just pressed his lips gently against Gerard's. Gerard kissed him back. Frank gave up on holding himself up and just leaned on him again, feeling heavy and floaty at the same time, and so awesome. The contact made him aware of the sticky, drying mess in his jeans, and it was totally gross, but it made him laugh, because what the fuck. They had had sex. He had had sex. With Gerard.

“What,” Gerard mumbled against his mouth. Frank's brain was too mush to explain.

“Just. You – your fuckin' skirt.” It was essentially what he meant.

Gerard made a nonspesific sound and rolled them over so they were lying on their sides facing each other. Frank let it happen.

“Is it just the skirt?” Gerard asked quietly. His eyes were soft. Oh, right. Frank knew this would probably come up. He hadn't let Gerard in on everything he had been thinking about for the last few hours. He wasn't sure exactly where to even start. He hadn't really had time to put everything into place yet. Still, he wasn't about to pretend that he didn't know what Gerard meant. Even though he was being totally rude, interrupting Frank's afterglow. Or taking advantage of his reduced brain capacity to get some answers out of him, or something.

“No,” he said. Gerard held his gaze.

“It's not?”

Frank sighed and rolled his eyes. Gerard could be really thick sometimes.

“Of course it's not,” Frank said. Gerard didn't look totally convinced.

“Do you really think I would sleep with you just for kicks?” Frank went on. “Who do think I am, dude?”

Gerard pressed his lips nervously together, in that way he did when he wanted to say something, but held back. “What,” Frank said.

“You've had one night stands before,” Gerard said. Frank couldn't believe how dumb Gerard was being right now. He was probably doing it just to be annoying.

“Well, yeah, with _strangers._ You're not a stranger, Gerard.”

Gerard looked uncertain. “So why now?” he asked.

Frank took a deep breath. “I dunno..” he started. It kind of _was_ actually because of the skirt. But it wasn't _just_ that, and he didn't want it to come off the wrong way. He really didn't want to fuck this up. He looked at Gerard, at his dark hair and pale face, his huge eyes that were looking back at him. Now that he wasn't buzzing with sexual frustration and confusion anymore, he could see Gerard's face in a different light, so to speak. His regular face. It had obviously been there the whole time, under the makeup. Frank was pretty sure he still wanted to kiss him even after he took all of it off.

“I guess I.. I thought I should stop being such a pansy and just go for it?” Frank said, shifting his eyes down to Gerard's sweat-damp shirt collar. “I'm not a teenager anymore... I didn't wanna let it haunt me if I didn't even try to see what would happen.” It wasn't a lie.

“So...” Gerard trailed off. Frank looked back up to his face.

“I know it's you under there, okay? If that's what you're worried about about.” He knew pretty well, alright. The thought made him grin, and he bit his lip.

“Don't get me wrong,” Frank said quickly. “I love your outfit, you look fucking amazing. You're like, the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. But I still – the reason it's so fucking hot is because it's _you._ You know? I'm not gonna stop liking you when you take it off. Is what I'm trying to say.” Frank felt like he was blabbering like an idiot, he realised he was probably kind of drunk, and trying desperately to make Gerard get what he was trying to tell him. He put his hand on Gerard's cheek.

Gerard smiled shyly at him. “I didn't think you liked boys...”

Frank attempted a lying-down-shrug. “I guess I do,” he said simply.

“Cool,” Gerard breathed. Frank closed his eyes and just laid there for a while, enjoying how heavy his body felt with afterglow and beer. He could forgive Gerard for briefly ruining it. After a bit, Gerard made a sound, and Frank peered one eye open to look at him. Gerard's mouth twitched.

“Not that this isn't nice and everything, but.. Maybe we should get out of here? You know, get back to the party? It's your birthday, after all.”

Frank groaned and rolled onto his back. “Everyone's gonna know, dude.”

Gerard was quiet for bit. “Do you not want them to know?”

Frank rubbed his hands over his face. “That's not what I meant. It's just, Toro's roommate is gonna be so pissed at us.”

“Well, no one saw us, I think. No one's gonna know it was us.” Gerard's tone was slightly mischievous, like when he was most definitely up to no good. Frank was very familiar with that voice. “Unless they're waiting outside the door right now. We didn't get anything on his sheets, though,” Gerard added humorously. “I think...”

Frank laughed depite himself. “I kind of wish it _had_ gone anywhere else than in my pants. I feel so gross right now.” He could feel his damp underwear sticking to his junk. It wasn't anything he hadn't experienced before, but that didn't mean he was particularly fond of it.

“Sorry..” Gerard said sheepishly. Frank snorted. “I forgive you.”

They were quiet for a while. Frank looked up at the ceiling. “Alright,” he said resolutely. “Let's go.”

He sat up and wiggled forward towards the edge of the bed until he could put his feet down on the floor. “Do you want to stay at the party?” he asked, as he was zipping up his jeans, that had been hanging open for their entire conversation. _So classy, Frank_.

“I'm not saying we should make it a tradition to leave my birthday party or anything, but I kinda wanna get out of here. If you're up for it.” He got to his feet and turned around towards Gerard. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and awkwardly smoothing down his skirt. His tie was still a little askew.

“Why?” He looked up at Frank.

“Well, honestly I wanna get out of these pants. And take a shower,” Frank blinked innocently at him. “I thought maybe you'd wanna come with.”

“Oh,” Gerard breathed. “Okay. Yeah.” He nodded and gave Frank a small smile. Gerard got to his feet, a little unsteadily, and made an “adjusting-my-stuff” movement with his hips. He made a face. Frank didn't even try to suppress his grin.

Miraculously, the kitchen was deserted when they snuck out and closed the door quietly behind them, and Frank was glad. No one had seen them coming out of the room, so no one could rat them out to Ray's roomie. Frank impressed himself by remembering his birthday present that he's left in here earlier, he grabbed the comic and held it close to his chest as they headed out. Back in the living room it didn't seem like anyone had even noticed they were gone. The couch was once again packed just a little too tightly, a few people were dancing over by the stereo, and the music had been turned up yet another notch. The chatter was getting pretty gnarly to combat the volume of the music; someone had definitely changed the playlist, now it was playing some sort of generic, indistinguishable pop. It had to be well past midnight.

It could seem like even more people had showed up while Frank and Gerard had been away from the party; the hallway out to the front door was packed. As they slid in between people to get to the front door, Frank slid right into Ray, who was laughing along with some tall, blond guy, dressed in a bear costume and holding a beer bottle.

“Toro! Hey man, I'm kinda beat, I'm gonna bounce,” Frank said and made his best “believe me” face. Ray looked concerned for a moment, then sympathetic, and then he looked Frank over, and his eyebrows shot up.

“Ohh-kay. Nice lie, dude,” he snorted and gave Frank an incredulous smile. “When the fuck did you even –”, but Frank cut him off.

“Anyways, thanks so much for an awesome birthday, seriously. You know I love you.” Frank gave him a quick hug and reached up to ruffle his hair, then he ran away before Ray could ask any more questions. He heard confused yelling from behind him, but he ignored it.

The hall was an absolute fucking warzone. The coathangers on the walls had been luxuries for the first few people to arrive, and now the rest of everyone's coats and scarves and boots and backup-fake-spiderwebs were thrown in a gigantic pile next to the door. Frank started digging through it to find his jacket. He looked up briefly and spotted Mikey over by the door, talking to Gerard. Gerard had his coat thrown over his arm and his long scarf slung haphazardly around his neck. Frank located his jacket and went over to join them.

“– outta here,” he heard Gerard say as he approached.

“You wanna leave?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah, I think I'm done. The music sucks anyway, I think someone hijacked Toro's playlist.” Gerard said.

“Is everything alright? You want me to go with you?” Mikey said, and Gerard shook his head.

“No, no, I'm – I'm fine. I'm going home with Frank.” His cheeks were slightly pink. “Don't know when I'll be home.”

Mikey spotted Frank then, who was emerging from the houseparty-in-Jersey-during-the-winter-hallway-hellscape and shrugging his second arm into his jacket. Mikey looked at him with a blank face, then at Gerard, briefly at Frank again, and then back to Gerard. He blinked.

“Oh, okay. Ew. Well, have fun. I mean - gross. Bye. See you later,” Mikey looked horrified down at the floor and wandered off back to the party, waving them away with his hand in the air in the same way Gerard always did. Frank grinned. The two of them were way too alike, it was weird.

“We have his blessing,” Frank laughed as he grabbed a blushing Gerard by the arm and pulled him out through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be just a "Gerard dresses in drag for Halloween" story, but turned into something a bit more profound. Working thru my feelings about gender and sexuality and fears of not being loved thru writing? Absolutely. Nothing has been beta read or spell checked so ur just gonna have to live with whatever errors u encounter. Enjoy

Gerard put on his coat as they made their way down the stairs and out through the front gate. As they hit the pavement, Frank pulled out his cigarettes and lit one with Gerard's lighter. Gerard looked over at him, but didn't comment. They went kind of slow, Gerard's heels were clacking against the asphalt. Frank fell easily into his speed.

Around them were a few distant hollers of other halloween party goers, either on their way home or to some other party, but apart from that, the streets were silent and dark. The streetlights illuminated the pavement in a string of yellow orbs, and made the leftover rainwater that had fallen ealier shine on the gound like silver in a dark cave. The night was cold and crisp, with remnants of rain still hanging in the air all around them.

Frank handed his cigarette over to Gerard, and he accepted it.

Every time they stepped under a streetlight, Frank looked over at Gerard, at his long black hair falling around his face and at his legs sticking out of the bottom of his coat. Frank was nervous, but excited. This was new. There was something jittering in the air between them. The silence was comfortable, and that wasn't new. They traded the cigarette back and forth until it was down to the filter, Gerard tossed it into the darkness. But it wasn't the same kind of silence they shared as when Frank came over to study on Gerard's bed while Gerard sat at his desk inking. This silence had a tension to it that crept slowly, but surely up under Frank's jacket. It held a promise.

“Aren't you cold?” Frank asked as they crossed the street. It made Gerard turn his head towards him. Locking eyes with him sent a shock down Frank's spine.

“Just a little. It's fine,” Gerard said. They weren't far from Frank's apartment.

 _Fuck it_ , Frank thought. He reached over and stuck his hand into Gerard's coat pocket, and found his hand. Gerard's hand opened up easily so Frank could lace their fingers together. He felt Gerard's eyes on him, but he didn't turn his head, just held tightly onto Gerard's hand inside his pocket, looked straight ahead and continued walking down the street towards his building. The cool air was making Frank's head feel a lot clearer, he knew he probably wasn't exactly sober, but his feet were steady and he felt sure and relaxed.

It felt nice to hold Gerard's hand. It was warm against his own. It felt so matter-of-fact, like they'd been supposed to be doing this ages ago. They walked in silence for a few more blocks, then Gerard said, “Did you see Mikey's face?”

Frank giggled. “Oh, man. Yeah. I think you just scarred him for life.”

Gerard laughed. “Pfft. Serves him right.”

Frank didn't ask any more about what he meant by that, just smiled to himself at the thought of Mikey's distraught expression in the hall. It made him a little giddy to think that he sort of had Gerard on his side now. Like they shared a not-so-secret secret.

Frank had to let go of Gerard's hand to get his keys out, as they finally approached his apartment building. He let Gerard lead the way up the stairs to the third floor, and smirked to himself as he didn't even pretend not to look at his ass as they climbed the stairs; even though his long coat covered everything.

Once safely behind the locked door of Frank's apartment, Frank switched on the hall light and leaned against the wall, watching Gerard unwind his scarf from around his neck. That weird electricity was still buzzing right under Frank's skin, Gerard looked up from the floor and met his eyes guardedly.

“Make yourself at home,” Frank said, and headed into his bedroom. Gerard had been over before, so he knew where everything was. He didn't need to be showed around.

The bedroom was dark, and Frank turned on the ceiling light, tossed his jacket onto the bed and tugged his bewinged hoodie over his head. When he reemerged from inside the sweater, Gerard was standing in the doorway. He'd taken his coat and shoes off. He was his regular hight.

“I uh, thought I'd jump in the shower right away. You wanna join me?” Frank asked casually. Gerard bit his lip.

“Frank, I – ”

“If I'm gonna naked-cuddle you, you're not _not_ showering,” Frank said as he tossed his hoodie into the “dirty” pile in the far corner. “You should know better than to rub your sweaty balls all over my sheets on the first date, dude. That's totally not classy. I like, just changed them,” He jumped down on the bed and started working on the laces of his sneakers.

Gerard was still standing by the door, looking uncertain and nervous. When Frank realised, he stopped in the middle of pulling his sock off his left foot.

“You okay?” he asked. Gerard nodded quickly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm. I'm fine. I just,” he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “Aah. Right.” He started unbuttoning his vest.

Frank suddenly realised he might have made a huge mistake. He'd been so caught up in the beer- and sex-induced whirlwind that had unfolded at the party, that he had dragged Gerard all the way here without even asking if he _wanted_ to cuddle naked. He might have just taken up the offer of a shower, since Frank's apartment was pretty close to Ray's. He had wanted to go back to the party earlier. Sex didn't necessarily have to mean anything. Frank was very well aware of that. If you could even call what they had done sex. Frank was such a fucking tool. He'd practically declared his love for the guy. And there he was, just standing silently, as far away from Frank as possible in the small bedroom.

“Hey, so,” Frank said. “How do you.. um. Feel? About. This?”

“This?” Gerard looked at him from under his bangs.

“Yeah, you know. At the party earlier. You and me.” He cringed just saying it. It sounded so pathetic. He couldn't take it back now.

Gerard gave him a long look. “Like you don't know.”

Frank took a breath. “I don't. I'm not a mind reader, Gerard.”

Gerard looked at him with soft eyes for a moment. “I'm here, aren't I?”

“You are,” Frank nodded. That didn't clarify things much. “So what does that mean.”

Gerard bit his lip. “It means I.. like you?”

Frank knew it wasn't really a question, even though it sounded like one. He'd stopped unbuttoning his vest, and was just fiddling nervously with one of the buttons. “I just want you to – are you sure about this, Frank?”

Frank felt like he might be having a stroke. Or maybe like his brain hadn't come back online after all, after they'd left the party. Gerard wasn't making any sense.

“What are you talking about,” he said flatly.

“It's just,” Gerard looked around Frank's room, at the floor, at the ceiling, the open dresser and the desk, everywhere but at Frank. “You're drunk. I mean, so am I. But like,” he let out a huff somewhat resembling a laugh. “Are you sure you – are you sure you know what you're asking,” he finally stuttered out. He was looking down at the floor.

Frank wasn't really feeling that drunk anymore, just tired and really confused.

“Uh, yeah?” He was trying to figure out why the fuck Gerard was stalling.

Gerard looked up and met Frank's gaze. His long, dark eyelashes and smudged eyeshadow made his eyes look huge, like a deer in headlights.

“I already told you,” Frank said, “I know what you look like under there, if that's what you mean. I mean. I _don't_ ,” he felt his face flush. “But I want to.”

Gerard sucked in a slow, deep breath, and his cheeks turned pink.

“Okay.” He nodded slowly. “So. I'm gonna take this off now, and I'm just gonna be me again.”

He made no motion to start undressing. He just looked intently at Frank, as if he was giving him one last warning, and waiting for him to protest.

Frank slid off the bed and walked over to him. He put his hands on his arms and leaned in to kiss him gently. When Gerard started kissing him back, Frank moved his hands to the front of his vest and started working the buttons open. Gerard just kissed him and let him do it, keeping his arms down by his side so Frank could slide the vest off his shoulders and drop it onto the floor. Then he went to work on his tie, pulling the knot loose enough to lift it over Gerard's head. Gerard's breathing became a little uneven when Frank started unbuttoning his shirt, but he didn't stop him, and Frank just kept kissing him slowly and carefully until the shirt was on the floor and he could put his hands on Gerard's bare hips.

He looked at Gerard's face to make sure he was okay, but didn't look down, just felt around the hem of Gerard's skirt until he found a zipper, and pulled it down. The skirt fell off Gerard's hips pretty much by itself once the zipper was open, and then Frank dared to take a step back and look.

Gerard looked pretty ridiculous in nothing but his black boxers and the fishnets, smeared makeup all over his face and with the skirt bunched around his feet. He quickly bent down to pull the tights off and kick the skirt away onto the pile with the rest of his clothes, and Frank grinned. He figured it would be less awkward if he also got out of his clothes, so he pulled his shirt over his head and quickly unzipped his jeans. Suddenly they were both just standing there in their underwear.

Frank didn't know what to say. Gerard was really pale, and Frank remembered how it had felt to touch him, how soft and warm and perfect he had felt underneath him before. He fucking ached to get his hands on him again.

“I have some wet wipes in the bathroom, if you wanna take your makeup off,” he said.

“Oh, yeah!” Gerard said, spun around and ran out of the room. Frank followed him, and stopped to stand in the doorway to the bathroom, watching Gerard look around the various items scattered on the sink. “In the top cupboard,” he offered. Gerard opened the door to the cupboard and pulled out the pack of wet wipes. Frank didn't think they were for makeup specifically, but as Gerard started rubbing his eyes vigorously, it seemed to do the trick. Frank looked at the side of his face, and at the curve of his back and the hunch of his shoulders. He looked good, Frank thought, without any costume or outfit, not trying to make himself look any particular sort of way. Just standing there completely normal, undressed in Frank's bathroom. Gerard paused and fixed him with a fake annoyed look.

“Are you just gonna look at me while I do this?”

Frank grinned. “Am I not allowed?”

Gerard just rolled his eyes at him and went back to rubbing his face. When he was done, he tossed the dirty wipe into the bin next to the sink, and then he looked up at Frank again. There was his normal face, with just a little trace of eyeliner left around his eyes, looking at Frank expectantly.

Frank nodded towards the cabinet behind Gerard. “You wanna shower?”

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Together?” Gerard squeaked.

Frank laughed. “Yeah,” he got up in Gerard's space, and put his arms around his neck. Having him up close again, but with no lipstick or dark eyeshadow, made Frank's heart beat faster. It felt kind of different, but not in a bad way. Gerard was seriously pretty. Frank felt Gerard's hands settle on his hips. “That was kind of the whole point of dragging you here, genius,” Frank said.

Gerard let out a breath and bowed his head to hide the shy smile that crept onto his face. “Okay,” he nodded, and Frank let him pull out of the circle of his arms.

Frank purposefully didn't look at Gerard as he pulled his boxers off. He kept his eyes trained at the tiled wall as he threw his underwear on the floor, stepped into the shower, and turned on the water, pretending he wasn't feeling at all self conscious that Gerard was probably looking at his pale, naked ass. He heard the quiet sound of fabric sliding against skin, then Gerard's feet shuffling on the wet floor in the shower where the lukewarm water was swirling around, and the plinking sound of the metal rings of the shower curtain being pulled across the bar.

When the water was a safe temperature to step under, Frank moved under the spray and turned around. Gerard was standing really close, stepping forward so the water hit his chest and face and soaked his hair. He closed his eyes and brushed his hair away from his face, letting the water run over him, and Frank just looked; at Gerard's smooth, pale chest, his arms, his neck, his shoulders, his cheekbones, all wet and glistening under the flowing water. It didn't really feel that weird to be naked. Since Gerard was naked too, it felt natural, and the hot steam that was filling the room made Frank feel comfortably warm and relaxed. He put his hands on Gerard's arms, leaned in and pressed his lips against Gerard's. Gerard startled, but then he smiled against Frank's lips and brought his hands up to touch the sides of Frank's face.

It was kind of hard to breathe under the spray of the water, so Frank pulled back. Gerard arched his head to the side so it was out of the way of the water. “You got any soap?”

Frank looked seriously at him.

“You've heard of soap?” he asked incredulously. Gerard's mouth dropped open and a small noise came out as he stared speechlessly at Frank. His shocked face was hilarious, Frank couldn't possibly keep his laughter in. Gerard leaned back in under the spray and shoved at Frank's shoulders, but he was cracking up too, “You fucker.”

Frank took a step back and his back hit the wall, it was really cold compared to the water, and he gasped as it sent a shock through him. Gerard's hands were still on his shoulders, holding him against the wall. Frank shivered and felt his heart beating really hard in his chest. He looked at Gerard's lips.

“I do own soap, as a matter of fact. It's behind you.” Frank said. Gerard narrowed his eyes at him for a second before he took his hands off Frank's shouders and turned around to the little shelf that was mounted on the wall in the corner. Frank sort of really wanted Gerard to keep touching him. But he _had_ come in here with a mission. He felt like he stunk pretty bad after all the smoking and drinking and sweating he'd been doing for the past few hours. Not to speak of the half dried jizz that had smeared all over his crotch. And if he was going to, it was probably safer to try to get up in Gerard's business after he'd rinsed off a bit. Who knew what sort of organisms were forming in Gerard's armpits. Or his ass. Gerard looked at the label of Frank's shower cream with a raised eyebrow, but he didn't comment. So what if Frank liked to smell like chocolate oranges. Whatever. Societal gender norms were bullshit, anyway. He knew Gerard agreed. He raised his chin a little at Gerard and gave him a look.

For some reason, there really wasn't anything particularly sexy about washing your junk in the shower together with the guy you'd just exhanged mid-houseparty mutual handjobs with. Frank wasn't sure if it was the awkwardness of it, or if he was just too tired to think about how it could potentially be sexy, but he just tried to avoid direct eye contact as he put his hand out for Gerard to squeeze some soap into it, and then went to town in all the worst places. He could see movement in the corner of his eye and heard the squeaky sounds of Gerard doing the same. When Frank dared to look over at him again, Gerard was just standing with his head tilted back, rubbing his face with his hands under the water. The skin on his shoulders and chest was a little pink.

Frank really couldn't take it anymore. He had to touch him. He was so pretty, his dark eyelashes wet and clumped together, his face relaxed, and he was breathing really slowly and deeply, like he might be falling asleep standing up. He blinked his eyes open and caught Frank staring at him.

“Hey.”

Frank leaned into him and put his forehead against Gerard's chest, bringing his hands up to his shoulders to steady himself.

“Hey,” he breathed, but he wasn't sure if Gerard heard it over the sound of the shower running. He kissed Gerard's chest, and it was kind of weird with the water cascading down on him and hitting the back of his head, but he didn't at all want to stop, so he didn't. He planted small kisses all over Gerard's chest, and felt Gerard rest a hand on his shoulder. Frank slid his hands down Gerard's arms, kissing his collarbones and up his neck, and Gerard sighed and shivered, turning his head to the side to give him better access. Frank slid his hands around Gerard's hips and up his sides and along his back, just trying to touch all of him at once and pressing himself closer until their chests were touching. Gerard's skin was hot against his own, and Gerard slid his hand up into Frank's hair, curling his fingers at the back of his neck, not tugging, just holding him, and Frank mouthed at the skin behind his ear. Gerard panted quietly, and it was making Frank's insides burn; he started sucking harder on Gerard throat and digging his fingers firmer into his back. He didn't care if he was too old to be leaving hickeys, he wanted to get Gerard to make those incredible sounds he'd been making before. Gerard put a hand on Frank's hip, and Frank leaned into him. He groaned into Gerard's neck, he could feel his semi against his hip, and he seriously could not take it anymore. Gerard's hand slid out of his hair as Frank sunk to his knees. He looked up at Gerard for a second, he was looking a little dazed, panting harshly and staring down at him. Frank sat back on his heels and looked Gerard over. It was kind of not ideal to sit in the shower with the water spraying down over him, the angle of the water was a bit off so he just got a few cold, stray drops on his face, but he had more important things to do than worry about it right now. He hadn't really looked at Gerard's dick until now, he had felt like it was maybe a bit rude to stare when he wasn't even doing anything and was just trying to wash off. But now he let himself look. The nest of dark curls at his groin contrasted his pale thighs and stomach, and okay. Frank had seen a dick before. He _had_ a dick. He'd seen dicks in porn. He wasn't completely unfamiliar with dicks. But there was _Gerard's_ dick, real up close and personal, and it was getting hard, straining out from his body, and it was kind of a weirdly heartfelt moment to be looking right at it for the first time. Frank wasn't really sure what to do, he'd never really thought much about what he would do with someone else's dick. But he knew he wanted to make Gerard come again.

“Can I blow you?” Frank let out in a rush and looked back up at Gerard's face. Gerard let out a strangled sound, and nodded quickly.

“Yeah, okay,” he panted, and then he took a couple of steps back until his back hit the wall. Frank nodded too, determinedly, shuffled forward on his knees after him, and put his hands on Gerard's hips. The water was hitting the back of his shoulders now. He couldn't get over how soft Gerard's stomach was, and he leaned in to press kisses into his skin all the way from below his ribs to where his hipbones were softly poking out.

“Gerard, I - don't really know what I'm doing,” Frank admitted. “I've never...”

Gerard put a hand on his shoulder. “Uhm, that's okay. Just, uh. Try not to bite me?”

Frank snorted and grinned up at him. “Yeah. Okay,” he said, as he brought his hand to Gerard's dick. It grew harder as he wrapped his fingers around it. He kind of recogized how it felt in his hand, but it was different to _see it_ as well. He licked his lips, then he leaned in and put his mouth around it. He couldn't really get Gerard very deep into his mouth, but he just felt out what he could do, licking along the underside and sucking gently at the head, listening for any clues as to what felt good. He remembered how Gerard had trembled when he'd pressed at his slit earlier, so he took his head into his mouth and tounged firmly at it, and he heard Gerard groan above him. Gerard's hand came back to fist in Frank's hair, and it sparked his confidence. He stroked Gerard's dick slowly while sucking as much of his length as he could into his mouth, feeling the rush of blood under his tounge. To say he got the hang of it might be a bit of an overstatement, but he managed to relax his jaw a little more and kept moving his mouth the best he could, holding onto Gerard's hip with one hand.

“Frank,” Gerard gasped above him, the hand in his hair twitching a little. “I don't think I can stand up much longer.”

Frank could get on board with that. The water was starting to run lukewarm along his back anyway, and his knees kind of hurt from sitting on the hard tiles. He pulled off and massaged his jaw a little. He looked up at Gerard and got shakily to his feet. Gerard's mouth was slack and his eyebrows were slightly creased, and he was breathing hard.

“Good idea. Bed,” Frank said as he turned off the water and pulled back the curtain. He got out of the shower and quickly dried off with the towel hanging on the wall, then he handed the towel to Gerard. Gerard spent a considerable time rubbing his hair dry. Frank just looked at how the muscles in his arms moved, how his shoulders hunched, how silly it looked that his dick was hard when he was just standing there bent over with the towel around his head. How his hair stuck up in all directions when he was done towelling it.

The transition from the shower to the bedroom was a little disorienting; the hallway was considerably colder than the bathroom, and it made the hairs on Frank's arms stand up. But it was totally worth it, once Gerard crawled onto the bed after him and and got on top of him, with a thigh pressed snugly between Frank's legs. Finally being pressed against Gerard skin to skin was seriously awesome, Frank opened up and let Gerard lick into his mouth and tug at his lip ring with his teeth. He fit his hands onto Gerard's ass and squeezed, pushing his hips up at the same time. The friction on his dick was everything. He hadn't paid much attention to his own dick while he was focusing on Gerard, but now he could feel the heat thrumming through him, sending red hot sparks in all directions whenever Gerard ground his hips down against him. Gerard groaned into his mouth, and Frank felt like he was going to explode, it was so incredibly hot and he couldn't touch enough of Gerard's skin, he needed _more_.

“Gerard,” he breathed into Gerard's slick mouth.

“Yeah,” Gerard answered, lifting up to look at Frank's face. His eyes were heavy and a little unfocused.

“I need – can we,” Frank wasn't even sure what he was trying to say, he just kept rocking his hips up and watched Gerard's mouth go slack.

“What,” Gerard said, lips hovering just above Frank's. His eyes sparkled with amusement, but he didn't laugh.

“Will you touch my dick,” Frank got out, and yeah, he could live with that. Gerard leaned down and kissed him softly, taking slow, deep breaths through his nose.

“Anything you want, Frankie.”

Gerard moved his lips to Frank's jaw, and down to his neck, pressing slow and careful kisses into his skin. Frank just felt amazing. Gerard's firm weight on top of him, pressing him down into the mattress, and his hard cock pressing against Frank's hip was fucking perfect. But Gerard kept _moving_ , sliding his lips over Frank's collarbone and down his chest, placing open, wet kisses in a steady trail downwards. It was making Frank lose his damn mind. Gerard's hair was tickling his stomach, and he was actually going to die, probably. He felt Gerard's hands on his thighs. Frank looked down at him, and he had to reach up and put a hand on Gerard's shoulder, to ground himself, or something. He felt a little like the room was spinning, or maybe more like his _insides_ were spinning, but in a good way. Gerard looked up at him through his hair.

“You okay?”

Frank couldn't help it; he let out a choppy, breathy laugh. “I'm fucking great.”

Gerard smiled a little, and he held Frank's gaze as he reached up to wrap a hand around his dick. Frank barely had time to gasp, before Gerard licked his lips and leaned forward, and Frank watched as he sunk down over his cock.

He heard himself say “Ohh,” and yeah. _Oh_. Gerard's mouth was fucking incredible. He definitely seemed to know what he was doing a little bit more than Frank did. Frank's hand tightened on Gerard's shoulder.

“Can I – ” he said, and shivered, because fuck, Gerard was stroking the underside of his dick with his tounge, and it was slowly unravelling him. “Can I grab your hair,” he finished, squeezing Gerard's shoulder. He hadn't minded it when Gerard had done it to him in the shower, but still, he knew it wasn't very gentlemanly to just grab someone's hair without asking, when they were nice enough to put their mouth on your dick. He'd learned that lesson before, and he wasn't about to forget it when it was Gerard and not some random hookup. Especially not when it was Gerard.

Gerard pulled off for a minute to look up at him, and Frank thought he would most likely just combust, because Gerard's mouth was red and shiny with spit.

“Go for it,” Gerard said, and Frank did, sliding his hand up into his still damp hair. Gerard hummed approvingly and took Frank into his mouth again, moving his hands to grab at Frank's hips. He was going slow, taking his time and moving up and down, and Frank just groaned and threw his head back into the pillows. Whatever Gerard was doing with his tongue felt really fucking good, and the slow pace was driving him insane. Keeping his hips still and not bucking up into the wet heat of Gerard's mouth was taking an increasing amount of willpower, and Frank tightened his grip in his hair, to which Gerard made what Frank interpreted as an encouraging noise.

He lifted his head to look down at Gerard again, watching how his flushed cheeks hollowed, how his dark hair fell over his face onto Frank's thighs, how his eyelashes contrasted his pale skin. Frank briefly thought he would love to see Gerard do this with his makeup on; painted red lips stretched around his cock, and that thought sent a red hot spike through him, as he watched Gerard's shiny mouth. How in the fuck he had never realised that Gerard's mouth was the hottest thing _ever,_ was beyond him. He'd have to ask him about the lipstick some other time. He felt like it would make a really good picture, if he could ever get him to agree to Frank taking pictures of him while sucking him off.

Just as he was thinking over the possibility of Gerard going along with that, Gerard pulled off his dick and came crawling back over his body, pulling Frank out of his blissful haze. He made a few confused, complaintive grunts, but Gerard kissed him, and he could taste something different on his mouth; sweat and his own dick, holy shit. Gerard wrapped a hand around Frank's dick again and started stroking him, and now he set a faster pace, clearly working towards a goal. Frank just moaned, and fumbled his free hand out of the sheets and found Gerard's cock. Gerard groaned as soon as Frank wrapped his hand around it, and he started rocking his hips down, fucking Frank's fist.

“Gerard,” Frank moaned, and Gerard answered with another groan, shoving his hips down with increasing urgency. The way Gerard was rocking against him, pushing down into his hand, was just too fucking much. He was making dirty, enthusiastic noises into Frank's mouth and jacking him hard and fast, and Frank was going to fucking lose it. He let out an honestly embarassing whine.

“Yeah, yeah,” Gerard whispered, nosing at Frank's jaw and breathing hot over his neck. “Come for me. Let it go, babe.”

Frank couldn't fucking take it. He felt a litte ridiculous for coming first _again_ , but there was nothing he could do about it, not with Gerard talking into his ear like that, he just _couldn't_. He groaned and came between their sweaty stomachs, pushing up into Gerard's touch.

He was determined, however, to do more than just lie there this time, so he pushed through his post-orgasm brain fog to focus on gripping Gerard's dick firmly, and started to stroke him faster. Gerard started making low “ _ah, ah,_ ” noises in the back of his throat, and mouthed at Frank's neck, and Frank could feel him tensing above him. He thumbed over the head of his cock, and Gerard gasped, “Yeah, Frank, yeah,” and pushed his hips into Frank's hand. Frank got his free hand around the back of his neck, fisting in his hair, and Gerard's breathing came out in despetate, short gasps right before he cried out against Frank's neck and followed him over the edge.

Frank pulled Gerard by his hair, up to his mouth so he could kiss him. He _needed_ to fucking kiss him again, and Gerard shuddered against him, riding out his orgasm and panting into Frank's mouth in between perfect, messy kisses.

Gerard rolled them sideways, but kept their legs tangled together, holding onto Frank's shoulders.

“Frank,” he panted out.

“Yeah,” Frank breathed.

“I messed up your sheets.” Gerard was looking at him with a serious expression. Frank couldn't help but to laugh.

“Whatever, Gee,” he breathed out and let his eyes fall closed. He felt so fucking good. He fumbled with his arm behind him, got a hold of something soft, and pulled the comforter clumsily up over them. He let himself sink heavily into the slightly damp mattress and just enjoyed the feeling of Gerard's arm slung lazily across his waist, the warmth of his skin everywhere they touched. He was so fucking ready to sleep.

“Frank,” Gerard said again, quietly. Frank couldn't believe he was still _talking_ , after all of that. He hummed faintly in response.

“I'm in love with you.”

Frank forced one eye open, despite his body trying to drag him under, to peek up at Gerard's face.

“You are?”

Gerard looked back at him with heavy eyelids. His voice was really soft and scratchy. “I mean. Just to be clear. Yeah. I am. Is that okay?”

Frank was too tired to think about anything right now, but he opened his other eye, so he wouldn't fall asleep before he could answer. “God, Gerard, you're such a fucking idiot sometimes. Of course it's okay. What the fuck. It's more than okay.”

Gerard smiled softly at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Frank did his best to smile back, but he suspected his face muscles were not responding. “Now can we please go to sleep? I'm about to pass out.”

Gerard's arm over his waist twitched gently.

“Okay.”

That was everything he sensed for a while.

He woke up to faint, gray morning light creeping in through the slit in the curtain, feeling bleary and faintly hungover. He grinned when he saw the figure lying between him and the wall, his dark hair a tangled mess plastered across his sleeping face. Gerard's mouth was slightly open and he was snoring quietly.

Frank heard a buzz from the nightstand and looked over, it was his phone. He thought about ignoring it, until it buzzed again, and Gerard's breathing changed in a way that told Frank he was about to wake up. He reached his arm out to get his phone off the nightstand, opened it and squinted at the bright screen, ignoring how it hurt his head and trying to focus enough to see what was going on.

He had two text messages from Toro. The first one simply read _dude_ , and the second one read, _PLS tell me it wasn't u_.

Frank grinned. _i don't know what ur tlking abt_ , he texted back.


End file.
